As such, I've sat through my fair share of meetings where the guys are told to go on more dates (to which my roommates and I always looked at each other with looks that said "I guess we'll have to crank it up to two-a-days. It'll be tight but I guess I can fit one in between classes.")I don't mind it necessarily. It's just that I prefer the positive approach rather than the negative, talking down approach.
I actually once sat through a devotional/fireside where the speaker pointed out that if we were above 25 and not married we'd already given up 2 or 3 children. I heard that and sarcastically thought, "Wow. Way to motivate me to get married. When he puts it in such a positive light, I REALLY feel the Spirit! If my unborn children can hear me, I'm so sorry. "
I hate to say it but there are at least 99 better ways to tell us singles/lepers/sinners about the blessings of marriage.
Also, when people say, "You know, any two righteous people can have a happy marriage," I think, "Are you suggesting I form a marriage based SOLELY on our righteousness?" I think anyone would agree it's a bad sign if on the eve of our wedding I thought about my soon-to-be-wife, "Well, at least we ARE both righteous. Here goes nothing." In context, President Kimball said that in a talk about DIVORCE and marriage. In other words, he's saying DIVORCE doesn't always have to be the answer. I don't think he's saying hunker down and get married because that's the only ticket to the top.
The best talk I've ever heard on being single/married? Elder Richard G Scott's CES Fireside "To Have Peace and Happiness." It took such the opposite approach compared with all the other lectures. The others seem to take the "stick" approach. They prod you from behind saying, "Go on dates! Get married! You're lazy if you're not married! The girls don't deserve you if you're not married but take them out on dates anyways! Those poor girls! I can't believe God makes them put up with you cavemen with hairy knuckles!"
Elder Scott seemed to take the "carrot" approach. He motivated us from ahead. He painted such a beautiful picture of marriage and what it could/should be like that I and (hopefully) every other guy watching/listening couldn't help but think, "Wow! I can't wait to be married! Gosh! It really sounds like something I should be a part of!"A major facet of the gospel is hope. I think these talks should inspire hope (like Elder Scott did) rather than focus on what I'm not.
One of my most memorable Sundays occurred when my British bishop stood before us and said, "I promise that each and every one of you will get married. And I'm not talking about in the next life. In THIS life."
I appreciated that because it inspired hope in me. That's the power of positive thinking. As Adrian Monk once said, "Maybe I'm getting my hopes up, but that's what hopes are for."
Another of my favorite talks on being single wasn't even about being single. It was Elder D Todd Christofferson.
I remember sitting in the chapel, watching Elder Christofferson say these words. It was one of those moments (I hope you've experienced) where it seemed like the entire congregation disappeared leaving only my eyes, ears, and heart listening to Elder Christofferson. As he quoted Hugh B Brown yelling at God I heard echoes of me yelling at God. Then when he quoted God's response to Hugh B Brown it was like God spoke to me right here (I'm now hitting my chest gently with my pointed index finger). It brings a lump to my throat.
Plus, it was comforting to know that someone like Hugh B. Brown has also gotten mad at God.
What's the best talk you've heard on being single? (It doesn't have to be directly about being single)
