Please Bring Honor To Us All

Talk given by Peter Barrow

Winder 2nd YSA Ward UT

Mother's Day 2016

Why We Honor Our Parents

As I’ve been studying the scriptures recently, I’ve noticed a pattern. That is the pattern of the Lord commanding His people to separate themselves from the rest of the world. God gives us commandments to separate us as a people as well as to sanctify us. Being obedient to His commandments teaches us to have a sense of the sacred, or a respect for things that are Holy. The world is becoming more and more casual toward sacred things. This is reflected in the way the world dresses, speaks, and in the attitudes it has toward sacred things. In contrast, the Ten Commandments revealed to Moses and renewed in our dispensation in the Doctrine and Covenants teach us to have a sacred respect toward God, reverence for the Sabbath day, and reverence for others. Consider the first commandment given with a promise, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

We should honor our parents for the love they have for us. Just as following the prophets help us to recognize Jesus Christ, the love that parents have for their children teaches us to recognize the selfless love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for us. Consider the following from Hal B. Heaton, professor at BYU:

“When our first son was born, I was overwhelmed with the love that I felt for Ryan. I also felt it again with my other children. This love was fundamentally different than love I had felt before. You see, I love my wife deeply for who she is and for all she does for me. I love my parents deeply for who they are and what they have done for me. They deserve my love. They have earned it. Ryan was a newborn. I didn’t know him. He kept us awake at night, he needed constant attention, he was sometimes crying and fussy. He didn’t deserve to be loved. He hadn’t earned it in any sense of the word. Yet I loved him (and still do) so intensely that I would do anything to help him.

God feels the same love for us—even if we feel we don’t deserve it.

I believe that developing this love for someone who doesn’t “deserve” it is part of our essential experience in this life if we are to achieve our purpose in life. I believe that is why the Lord feels families are so important and that love should be based on something other than selfish gratification.”

As Latter-day Saints, not only do we believe that the family is ordained of God, we believe that same institution is created in the image of the sociality that will exist in the celestial kingdom. Learning to love our parents and showing them the sacred respect they deserve sanctifies, perfects, and prepares us for the life above.

   

A number of years ago I realized that I was the same age my mother was when she had me. My first thought was, “Oh my gosh. How did she do it? I don’t know how to raise a kid.” Similarly, I recently realized that I am now close to the same age my father was when he had me. Although I feel a little more confident in my childrearing abilities, I have become more and more aware that my parents may have been winging it, doing the best they could with what they knew. Thinking this does make me chuckle, but it also makes me appreciate the trust my parents placed in the gospel to help them raise four boys into four men. I think a sign of maturity is the realization that your parents aren’t perfect and shouldn’t be expected to be so. That being said, parents have life-experience. Rex D. Pinegar said:

“If we are to be able to live the commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother,” we must recognize the love our parents have for us. We must have faith in our parents. We must understand that their love and concern for us is usually basic to the hopes and desires they have for us and we have for ourselves. They usually know best. They have been down the path of life. They are not perfect. They may make mistakes in judgment, and they may lack wisdom; however, we will not go wrong by respecting them and heeding their righteous counsel.”

Honor Our Parents by Living the Gospel

A scripture often referenced by my mother is 3 John 1:4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” The greatest desire of my parents is to know that their children are keeping the commandments, attending church, fulfilling our respective responsibilities, reading the scriptures, and going to the temple.

A few years ago for her birthday, my mother requested that each of her sons read the book Daughters in My Kingdom and come prepared to discuss it at her birthday dinner. Last year her birthday wish was for us to share some things we had learned in our scripture study. Not only were these memorable experiences for me but I believe this was an expression of her desire for us to honor her through our obedience to gospel principles.  

Quality Time and Gratitude Honor Our Parents

    When asked how they feel honored by their children, my parents mentioned that they feel honored when their children take time to send a text or make a phone call to say hi. Spending quality time with our parents also shows that we respect them. My parents taught us to spend quality time with the family every day as we grew up, particularly at dinner time. In a recent broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word, the following was shared:

“We live in a time of great division. Advances in technology have, in many ways, made our world smaller, but instead of coming together, we seem at times to be growing farther apart. Many of us wish for a way to bridge the cultural divides around us. We see people of other faiths or other nationalities, and we wonder how we might befriend those who seem so different from us.

There is a tried and true formula that has worked for centuries. It’s rather simple, yet it works. When we want to connect with others, we can invite them to eat with us. There is great power in the simple act of breaking bread together—it forms friendships and relationships that often do not happen any other way.

Perhaps it’s because eating is a basic activity for all mankind. When we share a meal together, we set aside everything but our collective need for nourishment. We enjoy a moment of rest, a time of mutual enjoyment. We slow down, we listen, we find common ground. That’s also why family meals are so vital to family unity.”

Honoring Our Parents’ Name

Names play an important role in the gospel, particularly in ordinances. When covenants are made, or sacred milestones reached, names are usually involved. When we are baptized we take upon ourselves the name of Christ. Those that are baptized are taught that as they have taken the name of Christ they are to act as an honorable representative of Christ’s name and all for which He stood. I remember when I was given the priesthood I was taught a lot about the individuals for whom the priesthoods are named. When we are born we are traditionally given a name and a blessing by a priesthood holder. These names act as an important reminder of promises we’ve made. They also serve as a reminder of righteous individuals who have preceded us.

    I remember as a youth becoming increasingly aware of the reputation my parents’ name had among other members of the stake. On one particular occasion I met a member of the high council at a scouting function. He shook my hand and asked my name. When I told him, He asked a follow-up question, “Are you the son of Joel and Elana Barrow?” I answered in the affirmative and he said, “You’ve got some great parents.” I was impressed that my parents were held in such high esteem, so much so that other members of my community shared this information with me unsolicited. Similarly, my middle name, August, is the first name of my grandfather. In interacting with some members of his stake or those who knew him on a professional level, his reputation preceded me. I feel a special bond with him because I carry a part of him with me everywhere I go. Sharing his name has led me to have an added measure of respect toward him and increased motivation to live up to his legacy. I’ve consciously considered both these namesakes as I’ve tried to live the gospel and make choices. I want to bring honor to their names.

    As we interact with others, our behavior and attitudes potentially reflect for better or for worse on those with whom we share a name. We honor our parents, ancestors, and those who are to follow as we righteously represent these names. This same principle applies when we consider that we have taken upon ourselves the name of Christ as well as the name “Latter-day Saint” or even “Mormon.”

Honoring Our Ancestors

When we are commanded to honor our mother and father, I believe this commandment has a wider application to honor our ancestors. Not only do we honor them by performing ordinances in their behalf, but on a simpler level we honor them by remembering them, talking about them, asking questions about them. As we do so, we increase our sense of the sacred and deepen our respect for holy things.   

I believe a sign of maturity is the realization of your own mortality. Along with this is the realization of the mortality of that of your parents, or the realization that they will not always be with you. Recently I considered the fact that I only have one grandparent still alive. I thought about how grateful I am for my parents’ love and support. It occurred to me that my father no longer has parents on whom he can lean, and my mother no longer has her mother to whom she can turn. To be honest, that was kind of a humbling thought.

   

One of my most memorable experiences of the past few years occurred when my extended family on my father’s side were gathered together. My aunts and uncles started reminiscing about my father’s parents. It invited this sacred feeling into the home. These stories had the effect of acquainting me with my grandparents. I felt the spirit of Elijah turning the hearts of the children toward the hearts of their parents.

One particular story stands out to me that my uncle shared. He was working out in the garden with his dad, my grandfather. My grandfather said, “Let me tell you about something, son.” He proceeded to relate to my uncle how he had once wanted to be called as a genealogist in his ward and when he never received that call he stopped going to church for 3-4 years. As he was relating this to my uncle in the garden, he leaned on his gardening hoe, and said, “Son, that was 3-4 years I totally wasted.” See, as we remember our parents and ancestors, their testimonies are passed down through the generations. Their testimonies overcome death, and by extension so do our ancestors.

Closing   

I have a testimony that as we honor our parents on earth, we also honor our Father in Heaven. Observing this commandment increases our ability to keep other commandments. Doing so separates us from the world and sanctifies us, preparing us for eternal life with our families. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Additional Quotes

“If we truly honor [our parents], we will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us. No gift purchased from a store can begin to match in value to parents some simple, sincere words of appreciation. Nothing we could give them would be more prized than righteous living” - Spencer W. Kimball

“Financial success, educational attainments, honors of men—these marks of your success in life are sources of pride to any father and mother. But the real joy and honor comes to them through your faithfulness to the Lord’s commandments. In this way we honor not only our parents, but also our Heavenly Father.” -Rex D. Pinegar