Where's the butter?

The other day I woke up after pushing my snooze button a few times. I went through my daily routine of showering, dressing, blah blah blah. I bet I take the same number of steps carefully placed in the same spot each morning.

I walked into the kitchen and found my roommate, Darin, rummaging through the fridge while his toast awaited on the counter. He heard me come in and asked, "Have you seen the butter?"

I'm the one that buys butter, so naturally I'm the person to ask when the butter has gone amiss. I don't use the butter too much so I don't typically know where it is. "No. Is it missing?"

"Yeah." Darin pulled his head out of the fridge. We tag-teamed the butter search as I stuck my head in. Top-shelf? No. Middle? Nothin'. Bottom? Notta. The butter was missing. There wasn't anyone else home so we were left in the dark as to the whereabouts of the butter. We started to theorize where it could be. We checked our roommates' rooms (you laugh? We've solved many mysteries by looking in roommates' rooms). Still nothing. Darin joked that knowing Paul, he took it to work (who would take an economy size tub of butter to work?). We munched on our butterless toast. Darin texted our roommates, asking if they had seen the butter. Finally we heard back from Paul. His text read:

"Yeah...About that. I had to butter my muffins so I took the butter with me to work. I figured no one would miss it for a day."

True story. I tell no lies. We didn't see our butter again for a week.