Dream Jobs

The other Sunday at Ward Prayer, my peers and I were talking about our dream job. It’s an excellent conversation starter. So I started thinking about my dream jobs. I’ve got a few ideas: 

DISNEYLAND TOUR GUIDE

It only makes sense that my favorite place on earth would make my favorite office. They say the secret to Disneyland’s success lies in the details that create the atmosphere. Those two things are the biggest reasons I love Disneyland. Walking around, I can’t help but be fascinated by the different plants, architecture, bricks, lamp-posts, and other minute details. I would love to get paid to show VIPs the tiny intricacies about the happiest place on earth. Plus, Walt Disney is one of my heroes. I like to think he and I would have got along great. I’d love to tell people the history of his life and vision for the Disney empire. I’d even love to be the tour guide on Disney’s Jungle Cruise ride. I find their jokes hilarious. If you know me, that shouldn’t come as a surprise. 

MONEYBALL

Well, Moneyball isn’t actually a profession. It’s a book and a movie that describe sabermetrics, the analysis of baseball statistics. I love baseball (mostly playing it, although I’m not very good), and I love math and statistics. There’s real money there. This seems like an exciting profession to me, but it’s not very fun to write about in a blog, so I’ll move on to:

CHILDREN’S TELEVISION HOST

A few shows come to mind for which I’d love to be the host: Blue’s Clues, and Reading Rainbow. When I was in high school, I worked at a summer day-camp for children ages 8 to 10. It was a blast. In a sense, I was paid to pretend like I was their age for a day. Here’s the secret: pretend like you’re only a LITTLE BIT smarter than they are. In other words, I might be giving a simplified explanation of something very complicated, but I pretended like I just barely learned it. As such, I made it seem like it was ground breaking science (to them, it might be). Also, I made it seem like they were teaching ME by asking them questions to which I already knew they knew the answer. They loved feeling like they were smarter than a 16 year old.

I can easily see myself doing this on a show like Blue’s Clues. Speaking to the camera: “Can you see where the missing shoe is?” Look everywhere but the right spot, then with wide eyes and exaggerated surprise, “Very good!” Plus, I love drawing those simple pictures. “Now draw a smaller curve for the top of the sofa.” PLUS I love mysteries! This is easily my ideal job. 

Or I could host Reading Rainbow. If you remember, LaVar Burton’s job description consisted of 

• trying new things like dressing up as a clown,
• asking people about their jobs, like a bee-keeper for example
• introducing the book of the day
• having an awesome, guttural laugh
• saying “…but you don’t have to take my word for it,” and “I’ll see ya next time,” while moving his hand, palm inward, up and down in front of his chest.

Ooh! Ooh! Another show just came to mind that I’d be perfect for: Bill Nye the Science Guy.