What Makes a Good Ward?

Between my mission and college experience, I’ve been in a lot of wards. Especially in the last 8 years or so. To be honest, I haven’t met a bishop or ward I didn’t like. It’s hard for me to put a finger on which one was my favorite. I had a very good group of friends in each one. Consequently, we had some really memorable experiences together. Sometimes when I’ve been in these wards, some people have had completely different views on the very same wards. Where I LOVE them, others have only seen them as so-so. Over the last few years I’ve thought a lot about why I’ve loved my wards so much.

Think about some of your favorite wards. What made them so cool? Now think about some of your favorite people. What made them so?

Once upon a time I asked some of my ward-peers these same questions. Let me share some of their responses (anonymous of course):

“I think that people who know exactly who they are and who they want to be are the best! I mean, the people that know these things about themselves are naturally more ready to pay attention to others' needs. When people have true confidence in themselves they are more fun to be around. Brown-nosing and people-pleasing are dangerous ways to make friends because you bend to the will of man rather than aligning your own will to God's.”

“I also think that a ward gets better when people take some time off to have fun together even when they're busy.  Yeah, we all have work or homework or both, but I find it hard to believe when people say that they have no free time at all and can't make it to activities.  Contributing to ward activities by showing up and doing your best to help other people have a good time is what makes ward activities successful.  We can't do it without everyone's help.  This is true for big activities as well as smaller ones (walking to Institute together, FHE, etc.).  Wards are more fun and memorable when people make an effort to go to activities.”

“Some of my favorite wards that I have been in are wards where everyone
participates in activities. People went to activities not just to have
fun but as a way to support others in their calling. A feeling of
unity came as we supported each other.”

Now let me ask you another question. What do you think of your current ward? What if you don’t particularly care for it? Regardless of what you think of it, what are you doing to make it a ward that OTHERS would want to be a part of? In other words, are you a giver, or a taker? It appears to me that in every ward there are people that seem to make or break ward activities. I’m not talking about popularity contests. We all know people that are naturally fun for everyone to be around. They glow. When we hear they’re going to be “there,” we know it’ll be a fun event, even if it consists of removing nails from two-by-fours. 

Let me begin our discussion of “cool” wards with a scripture. Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:26: -

“And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon.”

 

One thing I take from this is that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we are able to have control of our own situation. We can ACT rather than be ACTED UPON. If we don’t like something we have control over, we can change it. How does this relate to a “cool” ward? Well, let’s read a quote from my pal Joseph Smith, Jr.: 

“I see no faults in the Church, and therefore let me be resurrected with the Saints, whether I ascend to heaven or descend to hell, or go to any other place. And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it. Where this people are, there is good society.” --Joseph Smith, Jr.

Joseph Smith knew the difference a good attitude could make. If celestial destinations were fashion trends, he might have said “We’ll make hell this year’s heaven.” If Joseph Smith was a BYU student (he most surely would have been) and the early Saints were his roommates and they were moving into a new ward at BYU, they’d recognize that even if it had a reputation as an “un-cool” ward, they’d make it the hip-hop-happenin’ place to be. That’s just what they did. “No big deal,” they’d say while making the “no-big-deal” face. These guys took control of their situation.

The natural man/woman doesn’t take control of his/her situation. I’m not talking about bad days. Everyone has bad days. I’m talking about on a regular basis. What prevents us from taking control of our situation? I think a big reason is that we go through bouts of selfishness. One time I asked someone why they didn’t go to ward activities or ward prayer. They matter-of-factly stated “There aren’t any cute girls there,” and “There aren’t any girls I’m interested in.” I was flabbergasted. So what? Even if you aren’t interested in any of the girls, you go to support others in their calling! It’s a half hour for crying out loud! What if your cute girl doesn’t go because she doesn’t see you, the cute guy? These kind of responses give BYU wards a bad name (like “meat markets”).

 

Even if you disagree with JFK’s politics, you’ve got to love this quote: 

"And so my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." --John F. Kennedy

Now allow me quote myself. If it sounds like JFK’s quote, it’s mere coincidence. Keep in mind I didn’t even live at the same time as JFK so there’s no way I could have copied him: 

“And so my fellow Church members, ask not what your ward can do for you – ask what you can do for your ward.” --Peter B.

Another good example of a historic figure who asked what he could do for his fellowmen comes from Jesus Christ. Listen to this quote from James E. Faust from a speech he gave titled “What’s In It for Me?”

“In the Grand Council in Heaven, when the great plan of salvation for God’s children was presented, Jesus responded, “Here am I, send me,” and “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” And thus He became our Savior. In contrast, Satan, who had been highly regarded as “a son of the morning,” countered that he would come and “redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost. Satan had two conditions: the first was the denial of agency, and the second, that he would have the honor. In other words, something had to be in it for him. And thus he became the father of lies and selfishness.

“Taking up one’s cross and following the Savior means overcoming selfishness; it is a commitment to serve others.” --James E. Faust

We need to avoid such a “What’s in it for me?” attitude that I think can tend to prevail. If Satan were a young single adult (I’m pretty sure he’s still single) moving into a new ward he’d probably say something like, “I don’t want a calling, and I don’t want to support others in their calling, and I don’t want to socialize. I just want everyone to socialize with me and fawn over me and how cool I am. Me me me. Mine mine mine. Blah blah blah.”
 

Tsk tsk Mr. Devil. You didn’t listen to Brian Regan when he said “Avoid the ‘ME’ monster.”
 

If Jesus Christ were moving into a new ward He’d say, “What can I do to make this ward my kind of ward? Furthermore, what can I do to make this a fun ward for OTHERS?”
 

Remember that oft quoted scripture from Doctrine and Covenants?

“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward (D&C 58:27-28).”

Think about it. Jesus Christ wasn’t even COMMANDED to be our Savior. He just stepped into the situation, looked at what needed to be done, and asked himself, “What can I do to make my situation as well as the situation of those around me more enjoyable?”
 

Along the same lines of selfishness, I think you and I are sometimes afflicted with a sense of entitlement. “I’ve suffered X, Y, and Z, therefore I deserve A, B, and C,” you and I sometimes think to ourselves.

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19).”

If this were a Sunday School lesson, after having you read this scripture I might ask you to expound on how these listed qualities are in direct opposition to a sense of entitlement. Think about it. Submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit.

Finally, let’s look at 2 Nephi 32:8 - 

“If ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.”

I submit that the same spirit that teaches a man not to pray also teaches  man (and a woman) to not got to sacrament, Elder’s Quorum, Relief Society, the temple, etc. and maybe even Family Home Evening and other social activities. 

A few summers back my roommates and I found an awesome deal on an apartment in Provo. However, moving there meant leaving the good ol’ BYU 145^th Ward wherein we had cultivated cherished relationships. It meant moving into the unknown BYU 24^th Ward. We had no idea what the ward was like. We were afraid it wouldn’t measure up to our hopes. I was very impressed by my roommates and a discussion we had with each other on whether or not we should leave the ward that had become our comfort zone. It was rather short. At the end we agreed, “Well, even if the ward doesn’t turn out to be‘cool’, we’ve got each other. We’ll MAKE it a cool ward. We know how to have fun.” And to be honest, I’ll be danged if we didn’t enjoy that ward just as much as the 145^th.